Saturday, April 30, 2011




Relationships.

How do you know when it's right? How do you know when it's wrong? How do you know when it's the right time to walk away?

I used to be in love with the notion of love. I used to dream of great romantic gestures, walks on the beach, kissing in the rain, traveling to far flung countries and showing off to the world how I've found a great partner.

After meeting Jw, I realized that I didn't actually need my life to come straight out of a romantic novel. I didn't need crazy romantic acts, I didn't need him to pamper me nor lavish me with any material gifts.

All I really needed was his love; his pure, unadulterated love that made me feel secure, that made me feel important, that made me feel like I was the only person who mattered in the world. He taught me so much and he fought to get through to me and embrace me as a broken shell of a person.

But situations present themselves and force changes to take place. It's hard dealing with change, especially when you've fought so hard to resist it in the first place. I find myself slowly slipping down the priority list and I understand that career is important especially at the starting stage, but to me, I would gladly give up a job than give up my relationship because a job can be easily replaced.

At times, I rethink my entire relationship and question if I deserve better. How does one find a partner who will put you before everything else in his life, and for you to actually feel the same way in return?

The most elusive thing in this world is unconditional romantic love between a man and woman. It is the single most coveted treasure that only some find.

6 comments:

ada said...

i know how u feel. i guess every girl goes thru this stage before they find the perfect one? or carve the perfect one from what they have now. hope u find the missing piece in ur life soon. u deserve it. =)

Anonymous said...

If a man truly loves you, he will naturally put you before everything else in his life. this is how love matures, by learning to put each others' needs before your own. you should deserve only the best.

Janaine said...

it's hard to choose between your career and relationships, because both are just as important in life. it is all about choices but it is a question most people will not want to answer.

Beat said...

Ada: Thanks, babe. I do want to have faith in my relationship because I honestly feel like I've finally found someone who understands me completely.. Yet at times doubt and uncertainties cloud my mind.

Beat said...
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Beat said...

Anon: I do agree completely with what you've said. I do think that he needs more time to get his career in order and I guess I've got to decide whether or not to accept it. Thank you. (:

Janaine: Yeah I understand it's a difficult question but it just breaks my heart to hear the answer, especially when I know my choice would've been different.