Anchor

I miss having a steadfast reason to live, an anchor of sorts. That's not to say my life is a piece of driftwood or that I'm lacking direction - it is not. I do know what I want in life, if we're talking about tangible aspects, and for the most part I do work towards making the most of my life in that aspect daily.

What I'm talking about here is something that cannot really be explained.. Something that non-believers and atheists alike would scoff and roll their eyes at. Yes, I'm talking about religion. I'm talking about religion not in the sense of textbook knowledge, metaphysics or as a commodity or structure. I'm talking about religion in its purest form - faith and a relationship with the entity who has given me the greatest gift of all: the gift of life.

I miss being grounded by faith. I miss cracking open my eyelids at the dawn of each day with the first words that escape my lips being 'thank You for this day'. I miss being in the core of the church community, living and breathing every moment with the knowledge that I am surrounded by other living, breathing humans who want not only to glorify His name, but to attempt - despite falling short and being flawed in our humanity - to love every other human being whilst constantly fighting the propensity to always do otherwise, internally. I miss trying. I miss having a reason to try to be a better person.