How are relationships commonly defined?

When I entered into my relationship with Jw, it felt as though I had finally reached the point I’ve been hurtling towards for the longest time. It signalled the end of a long and ardours journey, one that had rendered me broken; a damaged object. It felt like I finally found what I had been searching for: an anchor to keep me grounded, a blanket to keep me safe and warm, a pure and untainted chapter in which I could define my next phase of life.

It was as though I finally understood what all the great love poets have been writing about.

I had never before experienced a love so patient and kind, accepting and unrelenting, committed and faithful.

Sure, we had our problems. But what relationship doesn’t?

Isn’t that what love is all about? Making the decision to go down the journey hand in hand, knowing that there aren’t any demons we cannot battle as long as we decide to work together? Making the choice to embrace the other person despite their faults and inadequacies?

Love isn’t just an emotion. Love will never always be fireworks, adrenaline and intense rushes of feelings. Love perseveres, love persists. Love is the only thing that can survive without any material consumption.

I don’t know how I will ever fully recover, or fully forget you. People say that time heals all wounds, but time merely serves as a numbing mechanism. It never truly completely heals. A part of me doesn’t want to heal or let go – I hate going down without a fight or walking away when I know, in the heart of hearts, that my love will endure.

How can I simply cut the string and walk away when I know how much I still care for you, and you for me in return? How can I convince myself that you’re not worth my blood, sweat and tears when I know that all you really want is the best for me, at the end of the day? How can I close this chapter of my life after I’ve experienced such earth-shaking emotions; this magnitude of affection and tenderness? How can I simply erase you from my heart when I know that the love we have.. Has yet to die?

The FashionFray video is up and loaded!
Our model was Andrea, and I'm glad she won the competition overall. Just a little background info - Fashionfray.tv is a channel catered to reality tv episodes intertwined with the theme of fashion. In their debut episode, they collaborated with LoveBonito to showcase a 'makeover' challenge. It's pretty interesting so do check that out too if you've got nothing else to do (like me).

Anywayyyy, all the dresses featured in the FashionFray episode above can be found at KISSLOCKE in our latest collection. I love all the manufactured new arrivals. I got lots of compliments when I wore the Alexander Wang inspired dress in nude last week.. My favourite piece in this collection! :D

Here we are now
Everything is about to change
We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday
A chapter ending but the stories only just begun
A page is turning for everyone

So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories while I'm finding out who I'm gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You'll be with me wherever I go
Wherever I go

note to self

Dear Beat,

Once you stand up from this kerb, you need to make the difficult decision to want the best for yourself. It may be painful, it may hurt. It may make you feel like you've lost the very thing that once defined you. But you need to realize that even if things did turn out differently; even if this relationship didn't fall apart, the same problems will always remain. You've tried to work things out, you gave your best. And if that's not enough to make him want to change for you.. Then there's nothing else you can possibly do to achieve a different outcome. You would always be stuck in the rut - never getting the most you can get, never being treated the way you want to be. Love conquers all.. And if the love you had with him was insufficient for him to make the sacrifices necessary, then you've got to take a deep breath, stand up and move on.

Happy 21st, Jellysprinkles!

Every night I go to bed with thoughts brimming in my mind, threatening to overflow and burst out in the form of tears. Whenever I come back to this space to pour out my feelings in a bid to feel better, all I draw up is a blank. I've never had a problem with expressing myself through words, yet this time.. I'm so tired, so weary, that writing every thought and emotion feels like a daunting prospect. I have neither the energy nor the emotional capacity to acknowledge these feelings all over again. Sweeping everything under the carpet to deal with at a later stage has always been my reactive mechanism. One that is truly unhealthy, yet seemingly the easiest option.





I had a pretty good weekend. Zouk on Friday for Jon's birthday, champagne and sour plum shots had me sitting in a nicely buzzed state for most of the night. By the way, the cushioned seats at members' fucking stink of rancid food and rotting vomit. It's a huge offence to my poor nostrils and everytime I lean back, I imagine all sorts of diseases and bacteria diffusing into my skin.

Jen's 21st birthday celebration on Saturday was a fantastic success – Think multicoloured candy strewn everywhere and vibrantly coloured decorations all over the place. I haven't seen anyone put THIS much effort into decorating. The theme of her party was Candy Land, so we all turned up in washes of bright colours and the guys had M&M chocolate cardboard costumes! Super cute and adorable!

I'm pretty sad that Jen's leaving for Aussie again.. I hate it when friends depart for overseas education expeditions. Sometimes I worry that they may never return.

And oh oh! How's my new haircut?!
I haven't had my hair this short in like.. 3 or 4 years?
People say I look like cleopatra which is totally NOT the look I was going for. I was envisioning more of a.. Bob styled pixie cut. Haha. Mega fail~

The stock shelf in my room holding only a small fraction (probably only 1/30) of Kisslocke’s stocks. You can imagine the amount of instocks we actually have.. It’s crazy!




I had the chance to try out 4 different colours from the China Glaze crack polish series. These are supposed to work exactly the way OPI’s shatter polish series does. Well, having tried both, I have to say that OPI’s formula produces a nicer finish – The cracks are more defined and geometrically shaped. China Glaze’s formula results in a more.. Streaky finish.



Also, only the Black Colour from China Glaze seems to produce aesthetically pleasing results. As you can see, the pink, blue and purple colours don’t crack well at all. They merely form a weak top coat over your inner nail colour which, in consequence, looks like your 3 year old niece clumsily painted your nails for you.

I feel the need to disclaim that these were painted in a quick and rather haphazard fashion, my nails don’t usually look so tragic.

Sigh.. I really should stay away from cold drinks / ice cream. I feel the onslaught of a cough coming back, thanks to my binge eating. :(

So.. Another week has passed!

The good news is that I am now physically capable of stepping into the outside world without my insides crumbling up and dying from exposure to potential bacteria and germ overload. The bad news is - My face itches like a family of mosquitos just took a camping trip on it thanks to my allergic reaction to my medication.

Complaints about my physical torment aside, I have since moved on to stage 2 of my personal post-breakup syndrome: periodic bouts of intense borderline depression.
I could be happily prancing around the house or laughing like a yeehaw at the TV and the next minute I’d be sitting on the toilet seat staring into space with my mind racing at 6000 miles per second.

I can't even begin to put my thoughts and emotions into words and I can't really be assed to explain how I feel because, well, mere words can’t begin to fully express what the human mind and heart can think and feel.

Moving on to happier topics, Kisslocke participated in a collaborated event, Fashion Fray, last Sunday. We had the opportunity to work with other online webstores like TresLoveChic and Dressabelle, the owners of which were real sweet and gorgeous! I hate going into mechanics, but essentially we provided products from our store for our models to engage in a reality TV based styling competition. I'll post the video and link the TV channel up when the video goes live. Anyway, we had the chance to meet some fabulous models and hosts and trust me when I say it feels fucking satisfying when models look drop dead stunning in our clothes! It makes me feel DAMNNNN GOOD. *booty shake*

The lovely Colette looking dazzlingly beautiful in one of our gowns.



Andrea in our winning bustier fishtail gown looking like a million dollars, if I say so myself.



Pearlyn in one of my personal favourite dresses (I've got 3 of these in different colours – I know right, how imaginative.. Not.) looking positively resplendent.












Jennifer in our Alexander Wang inspired one-shoulder dress!

All in all, I had a pretty good weekend. Looking forward to this one.. Hopefully I'll finally be able to consume alcohol and go a little batshit crazy. I'm in dire need of some therapy now. I can't believe my friends are actually giving me license to lead a (period of) unmitigated self-indulgent lifestyle but I really don't want another episode of the year 2008/2009 catastrophe. Somehow, the things that once appealed to my youth no longer seem important. I no longer wish to engage in hedonistic and shallow acts that will undoubtedly leave me feeling hollow and empty at the end of the day. There is so, so much more to life than that.

Big bang theory calls. GOODYBYE.

Oh before I go, new arrivals up at Kisslocke!



We've got a host of lightweight breezy tops in cooling summer materials, a Helmut Lang inspired asymmetrical tunic, a girly chiffon empire waist dress, party-worthy bodycon dresses in luxe spandex jersey blends and a Dior inspired wrap dress in Chreme Nude - Perfect for work or as a cover-up!

Annnnd we're giving away a Love Moschino Red Hot Kiss Clutch bag for the highest spender this month, so HESITATE NO MORE! Get shopping! Clickity Click~

Ooh Jon just called, asking me to choose between Zouk or Butter this Friday. It's his birthday! I opted for Zouk, of course. And apparently you need to spend at least a grand to secure the VIP table at butter so I'm like whuuuuut? Insanity. Do you know how fucking cheap the production of alcohol really is?!

I need to sack up and get it together.