“So what is it, exactly, that you want?”
He asked, sitting across her on the rickety old wooden chair that threatened to break down and fold at any sign of movement.
Silence ensued, thick as the fog that pressed against the grime infested windows of the old shack.
It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. The tension was palpable in the empty quiet room.
“If I had the answer to which, would I still be here sitting in the remains of my ancestors’ ashes?’ she whispered into the quiet.
“Help me help you,” he begged, leaning forward. He wanted, more than anything else, to envelope her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be alright. He would have willingly traded all the jewels and gold in the world just to have her lay her emotions out in front of him. Perhaps he had a penchant for saving the weak; or perhaps he really did desire her in every possible way.
“No one can help me,” she said, her voice echoing in the wooden walls of the dilapidated house. “I wish to God I could define how I’m feeling, but the harsh truth is that I can’t. And the sad part is that I’m content being the way that I am – Being broken, being just a tiny molecule in the universe. Because that’s all there is to life, at the end of the day. There simply is.. Nothing more.”
xxxxxxx
It was a pretty good night, in more ways than one. I’m tired, yes. I’m weary. I want nothing more than to lie down in bed and be content with everything that life has presented me with thus far. As I said before, I will say again. I thought I saw a finishing line – something that would mark the end of a long and treacherous journey. But I was wrong. Boy, was I ever more wrong. I was so quick to believe. Naive, really.
Love and hate is no longer clearly segmented in today’s society. Right and wrong is but a spectrum of greys. Am I the only person left who believes in morals and principles? Why is everyone around me so willing to simply.. Exist? Perhaps it’s judgement on my part, but every single day (as long as I can possibly remember), I’ve prayed for someone to show me the alternate way; to show me that this is not all there is to life. That there are others out there – others who desire more, who believe in more, who yearn to lead lives governed by spirit, values and our own brand of justice.
But time and again, I’ve been disappointed.
Is there anyone?
4 comments:
You do write things that make people think. I think that's beautiful. Not just beauty but brains and depth too. Things will get better with time. =)
Thank you. I'm not lamenting about my life or situations, I'm just questioning. So I don't need things to get better per se - I just need answers. (:
There are still many who believe in morals and principles. Perhaps you just have not met them yet. At least, I would choose to think I am one of those :)
But u know, it's a tough calling cos' you're right, people just simply want to exist.
well that's great and i'm thankful that you passed by my blog and made contact! it's great to know like-minded people out there exist.. and i'm not alone in this strange journey. (:
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