we are infinite.

I cannot, for the life of me, comprehend what goes on in the minds of the citizens from the People’s Republic of China.

I needed to buy some promotional material for my company so I went on to Ebay because it’s my personal favourite international platform. For those of you who don’t understand how Ebay works, it’s basically an immense community where sellers list their items at a starting price and fix a stipulated timeframe for bids to increase. There is also a ‘Buy It Now’ option where shoppers can simply purchase an item at the listed price immediately without any bidding hassle!

I needed to buy rings as a giveaway for my company. So.. I proceeded to Ebay and located a few sellers who listed these rings at a starting price of $5. Each ring for $5, with free shipping. I needed the rings in bulk though, so I emailed the sellers asking them to quote me a price should I wish to order 100 pieces. You know what they replied me?

Hello! Yes! Item is free shipping, total will be $800 for 100 pcs, thank you.

... ... What?

I do not understand. This merchant is attempting to charge me $800 for 100 pieces if I order in bulk, as compared to just $500 if I order these rings one by one as a normal customer?

How does that make any sense?

How does that make any sense?

HOW?

HOW!?

Do they not understand the concept of wholesale and bulk purchasing? That the value of a single product should decrease with quantity? That I’m doing him a favour and making his life a whole lot easier (and saving him a whole lot of money) by saving him the trouble of packing each item in separate envelopes and shipping each item out piece-by-piece!?

DOES HE NOT SEE THAT?! WHERE IS THE FUCKING LOGIC, YOU TELL ME!?

So I said this, in reply:

Hi, it is stated on your auction that the starting bid is $5 with free international shipping. You are quoting me $8 per piece for bulk order instead. Wouldn't it then be cheaper for me to simply buy per piece from your auction since you're quoting me a higher price for my bulk order?

I'm sorry but this doesn't make much sense.

I was polite and perfectly clear and concise. See, I believe in courtesy and eloquence.

And this, my dear friends, was his winning reply:

Hello! Project cost and freight is very high, $5 starting bid, we do not make money, I hope you can understand! Thank you

!!?!??!?!!

You do not make any money from your auction then WHY DO YOU EVEN LIST IT AT THAT PRICE?! You, essentially, will have to sell your product at $5 at the end of the day to any Tom, Dick or Harry that decides to click on the ‘Buy It Now’ buttom. I’m even willing to pay the normal retail price of $5 per piece, so that will sum up to $500 in total for 100 pieces. I’m not a miser and neither am I particularly frugal, so I’m not gonna squeeze anybody for a few pathetic cents. What I don’t understand is why he would think I might be stupid enough to fork out $300 extra when I can just order the goddamned things at his retail price?

I’m sorry but this really boggles my mind. I cannot wrap my head around their pure pig-headedness and insanity. How these people do business, I’d never understand.

Okay so I’m off now, to order 100 pieces of each ring separately and relish at the thought of the brainless merchant sitting behind his computer, positively kicking himself in the nuts when he realizes he’d have to pack 100 rings in separate envelopes with separate stamps. Intelligent..