we are infinite.

The thing that differentiates men from beasts is the ability to have impulses but not act on them.

Word.

Last Saturday I had the misfortune of witnessing a rather unpleasant argument between a couple. I was at Serangoon Gardens’ Coffee Bean with S and V and there was a guy - I would guess in his late twenties / early thirties with a girl who looked slightly younger.. I would guess approximately 26? Anyway that’s not the point. So guy and girl.. Let’s call them Tom and Sally for easy reference, shall we?

Right. Back on track.

They were seated at an outdoor table right next to us, not more than 2 metres apart. As you can probably imagine, that’s really close and we could hear everything they were talking about. Sally was standing a little way off looking through a phone. I didn’t pay much attention to them cos, well honestly, who really notices a middle-aged nondescript couple?

Anywayyyy, as she was looking through his phone, Tom suddenly stood up and strode over to Sally and said (in a rather carrying voice) “Why are you looking through my phone? Give it back to me!”

Tom proceeded to snatch his phone back and Sally started questioning him. I caught snippets of “Why are you still in contact with her?” and “I thought you said you were no longer friends with her.” And “Why can’t I look through your phone if you have nothing to hide?”

Well said, girlfriend.

Anyway Tom, being the male chauvinist bastard that he is, said “I can talk to whoever I want to. Why don’t you just leave. If you wanna leave, just go.”
Sally didn’t move.

Tom proceeded to say “Just fuck off. Just leave.” Repeatedly.

Finally, Sally stood up and walked away really slowly. I’ve gotta interject here that if I had been in Sally’s position, I would’ve slapped the shit out of Tom and stomped away without having been asked to. The way she timidly allowed Tom to treat her like trash made me lose respect for her.. But for argument’s sake, she probably was what you would call a freakin’ awesome girlfriend.

So anyway...

After Sally left, Tom just continued sitting there using his laptop. (Oh yes, I forgot to add: the whole time Tom and Sally were arguing, Tom was staring at his laptop’s screen without even the basic courtesy to look at Sally while in a conversation.)

Sam, Vic and I were rather entertained by this little dramatic scene that had unfolded in front of us, but also rather outraged by Tom’s completely fucked up behaviour. But yknow, never get involved in someone else’s business so we didn’t do anything. Twenty minutes or so later, lo and behold, Sally came trotting back.
(disclaimer: I was in the restroom while this took place, so this is how I imagine the scene must’ve unfolded as per Sam’s narration.)

“Return me my keys.” Sally said, standing next to Tom’s table.
“No. You can just fucking walk home.” he responded, not looking at her once again.
“Return me my keys!” Sally insisted.
Tom stared straight ahead, saying nothing, evidently in no hurry to pull any keys out of his pocket. Since she obviously couldn’t go home without her keys, Sally sat down quietly beside Tom, all timid and mouse-like. Half an hour passed before Tom finally stood up to leave, and Sally followed. As they went up the escalator, we could hear the tail-end shouting of an argument.

I’m just.. Astounded at how little respect some men can have for women. Even if we weren’t bringing gender differences into the picture, NOBODY should ever treat their other half with such blatant disregard to their feelings. It’s a downright slap in the face and nobody deserves such humiliation.

So this is a message to all you girls or guys out there who might find yourselves in a similar situation where you’re not given the basic respect you deserve: Stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

Nobody can take away your self-worth or self-respect unless you let them. Nobody can redefine you or tear you down unless you allow them to. Start believing that you’ve got a right to be in this world and nothing or nobody can ever take that away from you.

If someone spits in your face? Have the courage to assert yourself.
If someone doesn’t cherish you or treat you the way you deserve? Have the courage to walk away.
If someone tries to bring you down? Do not be intimidated and stand your ground. Be fabulous and shove it in his/her face.

Believe in yourself and you’ll emerge a stronger person.