How do you know when it's the right time, the right place, the right decision? Why must everything in life be a gamble?

They say everyone you meet in life is the result of fate - a play on destiny, if you will. Yet I believe that fate takes a back seat when logic and rationality come into play. Am I guilty of being overly nonchalant and dependent on fate to 'make things happen' for me? Should I be more brash, be more forthcoming, be courageous enough to stand up and say, 'this is what I want. I want YOU.'

Then again, giving someone the opportunity and power to tear you down is a prospect that scares me greatly. Vulnerability - that's something I've been battling with internally for a long time. I want to be independent, I want to be strong. I want to climb up the highest mountain with nothing more than my bare hands and nary a soul for support. I wanna drain oceans in a gulp and carry the world on my shoulders. I don't want to be weak; I cannot be frail.

Yet I see people around me who seem to want to 'fix' me, in some way. I'm not broken. I refuse to be. I refuse to be the damaged product of cruelty and cynicism inflicted by past experiences. No, I wanna believe that I'm whole and that's the first step to success, right? Believing in something hard enough opens the door to it eventually being true.

The thoughts that bump around in my mind whenever I'm alone are driving my brain to the point of over exertion. I wish there was a kind of release - a haven or bare room of sorts where I could bleed out the multitude of images, both disturbingly sinister and compassionately pure, that swim through my mind each day.

Do not set store for something that is never going to take flight.

It's about time I learn to STOP GIVING A FUCK.

I can't figure out why I get so emotionally invested in situations and human relations. You would think that after going through a mudslide of bullshit drama, I would have learnt to use logic above emotions. But no. I naively, time and again, let my guard down. If I actively disallow someone from entering my life, I can effectively ensure freedom from unnecessary over-analyzing and mental and emotional anguish.

This time, hold true. I will walk the talk and deliver what I say. I don't have the energy to run this goddamned marathon all over again. Perhaps I should start placing more faith in fate and an omnipresent being.. Cos after all, it's easier to believe that everything's written in the stars, right?

Advertorial!

So I recently (okay, not so recent. More like a month back) did a shoot for a local lingerie and sleepwear webstore, A Private Room.

It’s run by a pair of sisters, Stella and Sharon Yeo! And I’m not kidding when I say that they’re probably the nicest and sweetest people I’ve ever met. They are professional, sincere, patient and simply a joy to work with.

I modelled a bunch of sleepwear pyjamas and underwear sets for them and trust me – you’d love the panties they stock. All panties are made of a smooth lush blend of spandex and lycra mix that’s cool and comfortable on your bum! What’s more – they come in irresistibly adorable prints and sexy cuts. Their sleepwear and pyjama sets are also mad comfy and are made of the softest cotton ever.

With the new year approaching, get on down to www.aprivateroom.com (click!) and buy yourself something sexy and fun! I know I am. ^_^

‘Like’ their Facebook Page (click!) to receive updates on exclusive offers and promotions!

The New Year just got a little sweeter with sexy intimates. After all, nothing boosts your confidence like a pair of kick-ass undies!

Santa, baby

So I know I’ve been completely elusive lately. It’s been a CRAZY busy month – Just finished a fashion runway show for Kisslocke x Knightingale at Attica (will blog about this once I receive pictures from the event!), the setting up of my new footwear x bags webstore (details will be released when the website goes live), school assignments, xmas shopping and festive preparations and well, time has to be set aside for merrymaking, right?

Of course with the end of the school year and after submission of assignments, I just HAD to engage in some hardcore fun and frivolity. After all, there isn’t a better time to get down and get completely tanked than the festive season.

Hello Bunny.

Christmas this year was just fine – received a bunch of pretty fabulous presents with pretty amazing company as usual. I got quite a lot of underwear gifts this year – what is up with that? I’ve only got ONE ass! And my secret santas, Bong and Lucas, both surprisingly gave me pretty rad gifts and totally killed my preconceived notion that boys are tragic present givers.

I can’t begin to explain how much I adore the festive season. The twinkly Christmas lights, nostalgic Christmas songs, the spirit of giving.. It’s magical. And it should be spent with the closest friends and family, which I did. The downside is that I’m completely avoiding stepping on the weighing scale now thanks to constantly stuffing my face with turkey, pasta, devil’s curry, ox tail soup, ham, potato salad and slabs of cake all week. Tis’ NOT the season to get my fat on.

So Joce, Brenda and I made a last minute hasty decision to hit 1-alt up last night. If you guys have never been there, you need to get your ass down, pronto! The service there is amazing. It’s an open air alfresco joint on the 65th level at Raffles Place and you can look across the entire city and its twinkling lights. The breeze is cool and comfortable, the music is phenomenal and when you look up into the night sky, you’d feel like you can almost touch the clouds thanks to the sheer height of the building.

When we reached the bar, a service staff promptly pulled two chairs out for us and wiped it down with serviettes (the chairs were wet due to the rain earlier in the day). How many bars / clubs in Singapore actually have this level of service?! You tell me.

Halfway through the night, a waiter came to us and told us to order anything we wanted, on the house. I was pleasantly surprised! I’ve been there only, what, 4 times? But apparently the manager recognized me (and Joce) and sent us complimentary drinks as a thank you gesture for our support. Chalk one up for effort! I’m not getting paid to say this at all, but I believe in giving credit where credit is due. So if you’re looking for a romantic place for a midnight date or an elegant function with colleagues and friends, go to 1-Altitude! You can google the address.

Went on down to Zouk after getting sloshed and boy, that place was packed. On a Wednesday. I blame the holidays.

Right now I really should be cleaning my room. The mess has reached a whole new level and I can’t seem to find ANYTHING. I’ve been wearing the same top 2 days in a row cos I can’t locate anything in this hell hole.