spending money feels delicious

Just ordered the above T by Alexander Wang Bodycon Dress and Ralph Lauren Boots online! It'll probably take more than a month to arrive from USA but I'M SO HAPPY! Haven't really splurged for a while and Chinese New Year's coming so I'll eventually get reimbursed by ang paos so.. Not feeling TOO guilty.

AND AND I can wear the dress for work. It's an appropriate length so.. Yeah I'm just trying to justify my spending an exorbitant amount of money.

It's been mad cold the past couple of months. Rain EVERY FUCKING DAY. And chill lingering in the air. I'm constantly freezing and getting wet wherever I go. The only upside's that I get to make use of the winter clothes I bought and used to wear in Australia. But the downside's that I've got to bring a stinking umbrella out. And I fucking hate umbrellas. If only us muggles could perform Bubble Head Charms to block out the rain.. How awesome would that be?

How do you define love?

I've struggled with the concept of love for the longest time. I've been in and out of relationships and I've seen a fair share of guys and all along, I thought I understood what love was about. I thought love was about owning, holding and having. But there's a difference between love and desire, lust, and the need for accompaniment and attention. Through the past 5 months or so, I've learnt that love is about giving without the need for acknowledgement, putting aside one's personal desires and delighting in the joy of another's happiness. Love is always generous and forgiving. Love makes you want to spend every second of your day with that special someone even if it means lying around doing nothing. Even 'nothing' makes your time feel.. Saturated with contentment and satisfaction.

It's true that you cannot love another without first learning to love yourself. I now realize I've never truly loved myself, nor appreciated the miracle I am in God's eyes. Yes, non-believers. You might roll your eyes at how cheesy this sounds.. Yet a strong front is often a disguise for vulnerability inside. I've only learnt to love from being loved - And that's the most comforting feeling in the world. The knowledge that someone can love me, despite my faults and flaws, and that enables me to love in return.

I'm glad to be free of my foolish perceptions of what I once thought love was.

My bodyclock is fucked, resulting in me getting intense hunger pangs at hours like 5am in the morning. Right now. I'm craving hor fun / freshness burger / fried chicken / anything spicy enough to make you cry. All I've got at home are egg tarts and cereal. Which, I know, sounds pretty appetizing. But yknow, variety?

What I really feel like having now is bubble tea. From Each-A-Cup. Chocolate milk tea. Just talking about it makes me thirsty. I don't get what the deal with Koi or Gong Cha is though. Tried both. Very average. EACH-A-CUP owns! You can actually taste the tea.





EYE see you. Haha!

Doesn't low-resolution webcams make my skin look fucking fabulous?! I look like I have zero zits / blemishes on my face. Hehehee. Speaking of which, I NEED A SKIN MAKEOVER. MY SKIN IS A NIGHTMARE. NIGHTMARE, I TELL YOU. Okay byebye! I'm gonna resume the reading of my bimbotic book by Meg Cabot.

So it’s 2011 already. A whole year has passed again yet too fast. I remember I used to whine about how long it took birthdays / Christmas / Chinese New Year to arrive each year back when I was a young kid. Now it seems I hardly have time to develop or embrace the entire year before I’m slapped in the face by these occasions again. Time really does pass faster as you age.. I wish there was a stop button.

I’ve really reached the point in my life where I would rather curl up at home with Jw, watching American sitcoms and eating sinful food on a daily basis. Much rather than going out, partying and getting smashed.

Weather is cold tonight. I’m off for a mug of hot chocolate and a cigarette.

AMELIA CHO IS A DIRTY LITTLE FRAUD WHO NEEDS TO BE PEED ON.

I believe I have been scammed by a little bitch named Amelia, who operates via the email amelia.cho@hotmail.sg. I've just lodged an online police report and if the little scum doesn't reply my emails soon, I'm gonna go down to DBS and track her down via her account number.

After that, I'll proceed to slap her and stomp on her face so hard she'll lose all her teeth and cry for a month.

I'm just kidding. No, really.

Anyhow, beware of her. Go google her email address and you'll see she has scammed loads of other buyers too. Please beware and DO NOT FALL PREY TO HER TOO!

long nights spent with your most obvious weakness

And I treasure every single second spent with you that feels, for lack of a better descriptive word, magical. Cos not a single word in the entire dictionary could rightfully express how I feel when I'm with you.

Love calls on faith; love calls on hope.

Today someone asked me, "How do you know it's love? How do you know he loves you and you, him?"

To that, I have no reason of explanation. To me, love is something that's hard to put into words, challenging to define. Sometimes I try to think of reasons as to why I feel a certain way but I come up with no answers. Does everything have to be laid out on the table? Written in black and white? No. I leave a lot of things unsaid; Not because I'm unwilling to share but because I can't find words worthy enough to express the intensity of what I feel.

Sometimes I get caught up in the heat of my emotions and lash out at people. I hate that about myself.

Good things never come easy. Sometimes situations can hurt me like a bitch but I'll press on cos I know it's worth fighting for. Never give up without a fight cos living with regret is the most terrifying feeling one can experience. At times I question the journey ahead.. Yet I always wait with anticipation for the glimmer of warm light that will envelope me at the end of road. I want to savour and bask in every second between life and death that I've been blessed with.

1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


I love you.