It is a huge sin - bigger than anything anyone has ever committed against me before. What makes it so tremendously heinous - this crime he committed, you may ask. Because he did what he did despite knowing full well how much it would hurt me. He knew that it would rip apart the last shreds of identity I've been building up thanks to his initial patience and love. He knew that I would fall flat on my face without him as my pillar. He knew how long it would take me to ever stand up again; he knew how much pain it would take for me to recover; he knew what a wretched mess I would be upon the demise of what we had.
Yet he did it. Yet he walked away, without so much as a backward glance.
How cold-blooded does one have to be.. To be fully aware of the pain he might be voluntarily inflicting on another being, yet choose to do it anyway?
How self-centered does one have to be, to simply up and go with no substantial reason after making a trunk full of promises of hopes, dreams and a future?
How could you?
It is the 22nd of October today. I don't love you anymore. Neither do I desire your presence nor want you in my life in any way at all. People may say that I'm moving on or that I've recovered, but I say otherwise.
I may no longer yearn for you, but it will be a long time before I'll be able to come to terms with the cruelty that you inflicted on me. It will be a long time before I'll be able to look someone in the eye and say with full confidence, 'I'm fine, thank you.'
Saturday, October 22, 2011
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6 comments:
Stay strong. One day after some time, you will look back and be glad that you did not keep someone like that (: The hurt is immense but it will toughen you up!
This is one song that I hope you will try to internalize.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sNi9nIXxVo&ob=av2e
Not sure if you like the singer like me, but she has made me a strong female in some other ways.
I hope you listen to the song!
And remember these lines,
'If you're a strong female, you dun need permission.'
'you CAN be strong without somebody yeah!'.
Thank you, love. I know I'm better off without him - I am legitimately thankful that my eyes have been opened and I see sense. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.
But thanks for trying to make me feel better. That's real sweet. (:
Good for you.
What's 'good for me'? Air? Water? Or your incredibly pointless comment?
It was meant as an encouragement.
Of course air and water would be good for you too.
My bad. I tend to get a tad defensive when I detect a challenge. I apologize and thank you.
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